A Letter To The 16 Year Old Me

Inspired by Timothy Tiah and Jolene

Dear 16 Year Old Me,

I think you must have been having one really bad week. How many times did you hide in the school toilet to cry this week? Almost everyday? =( I know things are going downhill for you right now between you and the people whom you called "best friends". But let me share with you something, in this 8 years time, you will meet so many amazing people that will make your time spent in the school toilet seems ridiculous. I am very sorry to tell you that Joyce and you will no longer be close anymore but trust me when I say just be patient, everything will fall into place.

I know you are very worried about SPM. It seems like the only way out is to score full As and get into matriculation to lead you to public university. In fact, I know the 8 tuition classes that you are taking right now is so tiring that you fall asleep most of the time in class. Unfortunately, you only manage to score 4 As. And when you found out that you did, please do not feel that it is the end of the world. I know that you are so miserable as everyone you know is going somewhere but you have to stuck at Form 6 but bear with it because it is just the beginning to a wonderful journey.

How is Ben? I know you guys are really close nowadays and I know you have a crush on him. Huge one indeed. Well, here's another shocking truth. You lost touch with Ben after exam and you never hear from him again until after quite some time. I know you kept thinking what is wrong with you when everyone around you is dating someone but guys seems to not notice you. Let me share with you a little secret. Remember Kamaruddin from Form 3 Maths tuition class? His bestfriend is after your bestfriend? Sounds familiar?  You will eventually go on a trip with that guy, get to know him and fall in love with him. There, you will have your first lesson of inter-racial relationship. You will have 2 years of ups and downs with him and finally, decided to break it off with him. I know it will be hard on you and you want to get back to him for every reason available but eventually, time heals and you will move on.

Form 6 will seems such a scary idea to you right now but trust me, all the early mornings that you woke up just to do your revision (as early as 4am) will pay off. You will be meeting one girl in tuition that will changed who you are. Let's just name her Sunflower. She will teach you independence and loyalty in friendship. She will be the first girl you meet after all your friendship disasters; so remember, do not push her away. She will become of the important elements in your life.
You eventually score in STPM and is accepted to Universiti Malaysia Sabah. Guess what course? Here's a little hint. Remember how you are struggling trying to learn swimming and you wish you can swim well and stay afloat in water? You eventually will because you will be studying Marine Science in UMS. You will even go as far as obtaining a diving license!

I know sometimes your thoughts get carried away and one of it is what you fear will happen. Can you recall what is the one? Yeap, that's the one. I am very sorry to break this bad news to you that what you fear is going to happen soon. Your first near encounter to it will be the night when you decided to check where Dad is. But you decided to shrug it off hoping that it is not true. The ultimate truth will be reveal when few months later, you decided to take a look at his phone when he got back from overseas. I am sorry it hurt so deeply and you wish you knew it earlier but please, please, believe me when I tell you this. There is a reason why the first time you shrug it off and decided not to look deeper into it is because you have not sit for your STPM exam yet. It was after STPM that you found out the truth. Imagine what would happen if you found out earlier? You will not be able to focus on exam and score. So yes my dear, everything happens for a reason. After this, you will start to be closer to Mom and develop a new understanding towards her. You will stood up for the family and do anything you would to make sure Ling, Siang and Wey feels secure. Did I tell you Mom was so proud of you? Do not worry much because over the time, our family will learn and improve. Did I mention Ling? Are you girls talking to each other? Are you treating her well? Well, here's another surprise. Ling will be the one sister that you are so close with that you will bring her along when you hang out with your friends. Shocking, I know!

Going to UMS has got to be the three BEST years in your life! You will meet Siew Wen in Form 6 who sits in front of you. You will borrow her maths homework to be copied. She will eventually be your best friend and roommate in UMS. She will know everything about you and your past and even able to read your mind sometimes. You will go into your course and meet an amazing family. When I say family, yes, there is a Dad, Mom and siblings! They will become your family when you are away from home in Sabah. They will be there for your ups and downs as a real family. Sharpay, Lulu and PrincessX will be three important family members that you will run to anytime of the day. You will stay off-campus and meet 2 more amazing girls (Zen and Ai Ling) and all these people will make high school seems so far away as if it never exist.

Here's another thing that I will like to share with you. After SPM, you will join a camp (a buddhist camp to be precise) at KCBA. You will be hesitant at first but all thanks to Weng Phoon, you will join this camp as a participant and later on become a committee for 7 years! You will meet one of the nicest group of people that will show you, well, real friends do exist. Somewhere in your 4th year (I think) you will meet Rachel and Justin. Rachel is one sweet girl that I promise, you will like this girl! Justin on the other hand...well, when you meet Justin, you will want to push him away but before you do that, listen him out. Take time and get to know him a little bit more. There is a reason why he wants to be close to you. After awhile, you will see how he is so similar to you. Stay, guide him and listen to him. 

The 24 year old you right now is currently working. This is the second job and it is quite new; so, let me tell you a little bit about your first one. You will be in a magazine company that carry one of the 4 title that has the highest print run. I will save the title for your surprise. You will meet and work in an amazing team. Your boss is nothing like the one in Devil Wears Prada. Oh wait! That movie will only come out in 4 years time. Simply put, you will work under one of the best boss and learn from her. Yes, you will have one downfall but you will march through it like a brave soldier. I know you will be thinking of the salary. You will be surprise if I tell you that right now, salary will not mean the world to you anymore. You will prefer to enjoy doing what you do.

In my world right now, Friendster is no longer the 'in' thing. Everybody uses Facebook and Twitter for social networking. There is even such thing called blogs where you are allow to write and publish it online. Sort of like an online diary and the best part is people would be able to leave their comments. The phones today has gone way even better than just colour screen. We will be able to go to the internet from our phones and pretty much does everything a computer can do. You know the cameras where only the reporters use because they are expensive shit? Well, in my time now, almost everyone uses it! A DSLR they called it!

The current 24 year old you now loves traveling. I know right now you never would imagine you would travel to other country someday but yes, I have been to 4 countries so far and there are many more to come. Something you can look forward to.

So many more I would love to share with you but I guess, some of it you would have to discover it yourself. I hope you like hearing about how you have grown up to be.

Till then, please love yourself more.

XOXO,
Gypsy